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4. Admit Failure

Your goal is to Increase Happiness. You have learned how to Affirm Daily to develop new Desires to Increase your Happiness. But what if you don’t?

What do you do when you somehow develop Desires that make your life miserable? Common sense dictates you would get rid of those Desires, but often that’s not what happens.

Consider people addicted to smoking cigarettes. All of them could quit smoking. Virtually everyone who does so is glad to break the habit. Most people, including smokers, know all this.

So why do they continue smoking? Every smoker has three habits to break:
Nicotine can be chemically substituted. The rituals can also be replaced. But the biggest challenge is to replace the smoking idea.

Once an idea becomes a Desire, Mental Survival wants it to Survive. To kill your Desires is to kill part of yourself – a form of mental suicide.

A Desire for a Weak Choice creates an inner conflict. Part of you wants to keep the Weak Choice for Mental Survival. Another part of you wants to destroy the Desire so you can Increase Happiness.

How do most people resolve the conflict? They cheat. Mental Survival invents EXCUSES, which are rationalizations to prevent them from changing their Desires.

An Excuse allows you to keep making Weak Choices and deceive yourself that your Happiness won’t suffer. Most Excuses contain a seed of truth. But to believe an Excuse, you must give the truth far more weight than it deserves.

Consider the following Excuses for the Weak Choice of smoking:
On the day you are diagnosed with a smoking-related illness, every one of these Excuses will seem foolish.

People cling to their Excuses because they don’t want to believe they are making a mistake. They don’t Admit Failure because it conflicts with their Mental Survival. They hold on to their ideas, including the Weak ones, as if their lives depend on it.

Separate yourself from your ideas. If your idea fails, that does not make you a failure. You are only a failure when you hold on to failed ideas.

To Admit Failure you must recognize Excuses. You might have difficulty recognizing Excuses because to you they seem true. The best way to discover an Excuse is to realize that when you are not achieving the Happiness you seek, an Excuse probably exists.

Ask yourself the following questions:
Once you identify an Excuse, you can write Affirmations to overcome it. The best way to eliminate an Excuse is to replace it with a Strong Desire. For example, your desire for smoking might be: "I enjoy saving the money that would be spent on cigarettes."

You should also develop the Desire to admit your mistakes. Words like this should flow freely:
Those phrases are liberating. You will feel better, knowing you have been candid and honest with others. And the reactions you get might surprise you. Most people will not think you are weak for admitting failure. They will more likely see your admission as a sign of strength.

To improve your interactions with others, you should AFFIRM RELATIONSHIPS.



I’ve always been told to "never give up." If I Admit Failure, doesn’t that mean I’m giving up? There is a difference between giving up on Happiness and giving up on specific Choices. If your current Choices will not lead you to Happiness, you should pursue other Choices. You must relinquish your grip on failure before you can grasp success.

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